Friday, April 01, 2016

The way time flies....a bit of a ramble.

I always find myself reminiscing at this time of year.  Partly because it's Spring of course and something magical seems to happen....or is that just me?  Also, because there are lots of birthdays in my family at this time of year.  On March 31, my Gram would start us all off.  Next comes my oldest, he'll be 24 this weekend, then my brother a week later and next me a few days after that.  In a few weeks my oldest nephew and then the next day my Mom finish things off.  Also, throw in Easter and it's lots of family sized memories to go back over.  The ones I seem to be stuck on tonight are from 1/4 century ago (TWENTY FIVE YEARS, ugh, am I that old??) when I was at my boyfriend's place celebrating my 17th birthday with him and all of my friends.  I later found out that he spent quite a lot of the time in the bathroom making out with my best friend.  I also found out that he and his friends all had "bets" to sleep with as many of me and my friends as they could.  Them being "older and cooler" and us being young and naive.... (we were 16-17 they were 22+) ....well, their success rate was astonishing.  Not much loyalty in my circle of friends apparently because ALL of my closest friends slept with this guy....who would later end up as the father of my oldest.  He played me and one of my friends (the one from the bathroom) off of each other for months.  Even when I found out I was pregnant he told me that she might be too and he wasn't sure who he wanted.  It was a horrible thing to do to a 17 year old girl who before meeting him and his friends was ....there's no other word for it.... good.  Not, wings and shiny halo good but, I always did the right thing, showed up when I should, went where I was told, I was usually late getting home but, that was about the extent of my rebelliousness.  Anyhow, 25 years later and I'm still single and kind of in the exact same place in many ways.  Talk about a "reset".  WHOO!!  So, what do I do now??  Good question.  lol, I wish I had some answers. In fact that's what I've been looking for the past few years.  I'm not really in the same place.  As much as I feel like I have no control over my current living/financial situation, I am WAY more aware of the world around me.  I am conscious of the decisions I make, how I choose to raise my youngest, when and where to work, how to spend my money, what to study, who to interact with....  I make the decisions about everything rather than blindly following to the advice of others.  To me this is huge.  I look back at 17 year old me and wish I had many of things that she had, energy, that body (oh, if I'd only known back then what I had!  lol), opportunities, innocence.  However, like most people I wouldn't change anything.  This is a new thing for me because I always said, sure, there's a few things I'd go back and change but, no, I'm good....well, at least I wouldn't go THAT far back.  Maybe I'd take some lotto numbers with me....but, only a few years.  lol

Well, that was kind of all over the place wasn't it?  It's been a weird week....don't you think?

So, obviously I have some "stuff" to go and deal with.  Happy April Fool's Day everyone!  I hope all of the pranks you give and/or receive are fun and truly harmless.  Be mindful of the outcomes of all of your actions....and remember forgiveness for those situations that you didn't think of.  They're all teaching moments.

Sending much love out to all of you.


  1. I love your reminisances of a innocent teenager, I can relate to much of what you've said from my own teenage experiences and Looking back over my life too. Love your honesty, it's refreshing to read the blogs of real people living without apology or regrets. I look forward to your posts. Long may your journey evolve and prosper. 👍

    1. Thanks Jackie! I'm glad that of all the times you've tried to comment on my blog this is the one that found it's way through the maze of the internet hoops. I appreciate your love and support.


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