Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Old letters

mine are not this organized...

So, I found some old letters recently.  I used to write letters ALL THE TIME.  Then the internet came and I found chat rooms.  That was fun but, I still wrote letters to people because the people I talked to in chat rooms weren't the same kind of friends. (...right now, get your mind out of the gutter.  I never had "friends" like that on-line.)  I honestly connected with people just to talk with them and share our lives with each other...and if someone came looking for "that" type of friend I sent them packing.  Most of them stuck around though because it's nice to actually talk to people.  Then I was introduced to email.  So, I'd write people email letters ALL THE TIME.  It was great but, not the same.  Then, 8 years ago I found face book and I don't think I've written more than ten letters since...and certainly don't send greeting cards like I used to.

When I find old letters I will actually sit there and read them and I am transported back in time to when they were delivered...WOW!!  What an experience.  It's really amazing the things that we will forget, the experiences that we choose not to hold in our consciousness.  This bunch of letters is so crazy and ....from all over the place.  One I wrote but never sent explaining feelings that I don't remember having, part of one from a summer fling who dropped me as soon as he heard some less than great news and another that I never did read from an ex...that one woke up quite a few things for me.  There's no way that an email letter or a "here's your posts from this day in the past" on Facebook will do that for you.  I know I don't go crawling back through my archived emails or old fb IM's to re-read old messages....and I SURE DON'T keep old texts.  It kind of made me sad actually.  There are so many things that letters did for people.  The excitement of not-a-bill or flyer coming in the mail, reading something that was made just for them, transporting people across time and space, grammar (! -lol).  I think that writing letters helps you to think about other people more....gets you communicating more, out of your own head space.  Sure, email and Facebook and texts and such are more instantly up to date but, is it really better?

Jeez!  I wonder if the post office will sponsor this post!  lmao

Anyway, one particular letter in this bunch (and what a strange bunch it was) was from someone that I have always referred to as my soul mate.  Now you're thinking "but, she's single isn't she?"  Well, yes I am.  However, I don't believe (because of this man) for a second that just because you've found and realized that you know your soul mate that you need to be together forevermore.  A conclusion I came to with no small amount of pain and suffering.  I also don't believe that there is just one out there for everyone.  (There's more on this that I'd love to talk to anyone about, it goes into soul contracts and such, Caroline Myss goes into it, fascinating stuff)  Anyway, we always, from the very beginning (even though he doesn't remember it, we met at a bar!  lol.  there's another story....) had a very deep connection but in the end we were so toxic for each other.  Feelings were so raw and real that the slightest off comment (always unintended) would cut the other so deep that sometimes it just wouldn't heal.  I think that if we'd met when we were older and a little more weathered that things would have gone differently (duh), maybe even better but, that's not how we planned things is it?  Thinking back now to our more recent interactions....I don't know that things would have been we'll never know.  It's time to accept the lessons and move on. Funny that two decades later I'm still getting them.

I love how the Universe weaves.

have you ever read Piers Anthony's Incarnations series?

That's all for now, I just felt the need to share something tonight.  I hope you're all having a good week.  I'll see you Sunday, if not before.

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