Monday, May 16, 2016

Monday Muse - Other People's Opinions

So, I was in the shower today and I decided it was time to shave.  That got me thinking about a lady I was sitting near (a bunch of Mom's were on the sidelines watching our kids play in a pile of dirt) and this particular lady looked down at her legs and said "oh, I didn't do a very good job of shaving did I?"  All I could think was "who cares?!?"  Not the type of 'who cares' as in 'oh quit whining!'  She had three kids running around and the fourth was due any day now and from the little bit that I picked up her husband did work where he wasn't always home.  If I was in her position I'd have quit shaving so long ago that it didn't even cross my mind anymore.  (In fact I pretty much have.  I abhor shaving.)   How many of us have uttered a similar comment in similar company?  It's always about shame/guilt isn't it?  In my head (today in the shower) the conversation went like this.

Sun Dress Lady: Oh, I didn't do a very good job of shaving my legs did I?
Me: *glances over* What are you talking about?  I don't even see any stubble!  To be honest I wouldn't have even looked if you hadn't said anything.  If I was in your position I wouldn't be shaving at all, in fact look!  I didn't.  *chuckle*  Even if there was some stubble and I DID notice it the only think I'd have to say and more honestly, to think is 'nice!  another woman who has realized that she has better things to do with her time than remove hair that our bodies feel the need to grow.'
Sun Dress Lady: Oh, well, my husband likes it.
Me: fair enough, good for you for putting in that effort to please your man (this is growth for me by the way, before it would have been a completely different response, now I think differently) but, is that true or do you want him to think that?  I ask because I saw an article recently that talked about how what we think people want from us is generally quite different from what they actually do want from us.  The example used was her shaving everything from the waist down, plus her underarms of course and it turned out that her husband didn't care one way or another.
Sun Dress Lady: Oh, interesting....well, I like the feel of smooth legs too so, I'll keep doing it.  Something to think about though.
Other Mom's: murmuring agreement.

I'm quite impressive in my imagination.  All I did in the actual situation was glance over and notice that I couldn't see anything wrong with her shaving job and think that its too bad she's got so much guilt over something so trivial.

To me this is a choice and I have no place in how you make that decision.  My only choice in this situation is whether to judge you or not.  I choose not to (at least I do my best not to, I am only human after all).  However, you need to weigh all the pros and cons about whether you do or not.  I honestly believe that since our bodies have evolved this way it should be taken into consideration that we just might have a use for that hair...and I don't think that it's just to keep our legs warm in the winter.

In the grand scheme of things it isn't a huge deal and I'm not really  trying to talk people out of shaving.  I just want everyone to be more involved in the reasons that they do things.  I mean, I love the feel of clean shaven legs as much as anyone else but, more than that I hate shaving.  Yet, out of embarrassment of what people might think I just went and did it again. ...and that's the only reason.  I have no man to please or any other good reason I can think of to shave.  Just the fact that I plan on wearing pants shorter than ankle length and Society expects me to have hairless legs.  Society accepts men that choose not to shave, why can't women be afforded the same consideration?  I think the answer here is that we ALL need to stop caring about other's judgements, it really is none of our business.  Their opinions are going to be what their opinions are.  No matter what we do or don't do someone will always be around to judge.  Let them and move on along your merry way.  You`ll be much happier that way.

That's something I think we should all start to apply to our lives in other areas that are significantly more important than hair removal (or not, maybe start small).  Take some time sometime and think about why you're doing something that you seriously do not enjoy doing and maybe you can take an unwanted chore off of your list.

That's all for today.


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